Thursday, July 13, 2006

Dreams and Nightmares
A little fiction to start the day

I had a dream last night, or should I say, a nightmare. It was really weird. There I was in a post apocalyptic Earth. Zombies roamed the land, eating peoples brains and making other zombies. Strange glowing white, cratered spheres with black leathery wings fluttered around like house flies. And there I was, holed up in my house with nothing but a few hundred rounds and my shotgun between me and zombie lunch.

There was a shattering of glass from the first floor and a few seconds later two freshly made zombies lumbered into view and attempted to climb the stairs after me. It took me a second, but then I recognized them; Bill Clinton and Al Gore. "Holy Shit!" I mumbled and drew a bead on the former presidents face with my Remington 870 Express 12GA.

"I did not inhale!" zombie Bill gurgled.

"Global warming!" zombie Al hissed through ragged lips. I fired and zombie Bill's head disapeared into pink mist. His cheeseburger enhanced body twitched for a couple of seconds and then fell backwards onto the floor and stopped moving. Zombie Al continued climbing the steps, one delibrate step at a time. "I invented the internet!" he spat out along with several yellowed teeth.

"Like hell you did!" I hissed and racked the action on my shotgun. Seconds later the headless body of zombie Al joined his former boss on the floor of my house.

Suddenly, feral growls sounded below and who should step out into the light, but the decaying remains of Cindy Sheehan no less. "US out of Iraq!" she screamed as loudly as she could with a ripped out throat. Before I could line her up in my sights, behind her from the shadows stepped Dianne Feinstein.

"Mr. and Mrs. America, turn 'em all in!" she screached. There was only the telltale mask of red on her face from feeding that gave her away as the zombie she really was.

'Oh God no!' I thought. This was rapidly going from bad to worse! And then from the shadows behind her came zombie Sarah Brady, pushing the zombified remains of her paralyzed husband in a wheel chair. Other zombies began to spill out of the cold night into my living room. Ward Churchill, Deborah Frisch, Nancy Pelosi, Rebecca Peters and more crowded the first floor and then began advancing up the stairs.

I racked the action again and soon zombie Cindy and zombie Dianne jerked unsteadily to the floor. By the time I had reloaded, zombie Sarah was at the top of the stairs. A blast of 00 buckshot sent her airborne into the roiling crowd of zombies below. Zombie Ward Churchill actually made it to the top of the stairs before he lost his mind, again. Slowly though, I was being pushed back by their relentless advance. Soon I was pushed to the end of the hallway with an empty shotgun, being forced to use it as a club.

The zombies overcame me and began feasting savagely. In intense pain I withdrew my Taurus 605 .357 Magnum revolver and brought it to my head. I would not become one of them! Zombie Rebecca grabbed the revolver from my hand and another zombie confiscated my shotgun and remaining shells and took them away. Death came quickly, thank God.

The next morning, I think it was morning anyway; it was kind of hard to think straight now. I found myself stumbling around on a deserted street with a dozen or so of my commrades. The sound of gunfire drew me and the others to a little house beside the road. As we entered the dwelling, a frightened man popped around the corner and shot the zombie beside me. Before he could train his gun on me, I grabbed him with my rotting hands and ripped out his throat with my jagged teeth. "Guns are bad!" I hissed, "Guns kill people!" He gurgled on the ground in pain and fear as my companions and I devoured his quivering flesh. Soon though, he was one of us...

I awoke with a start, sweat soaking the sheets. I flipped on the light and made sure my guns were still in their safe. I took out my revolver from it's case in the nightstand beside my bed and held it lovingly.

Thank God it was just a nightmare...

The End

Cheesy I know... *shrug* And just so we're absolutely clear here, this is a total work of fiction, no violence to any persons, living or dead is intended, or wished. If you can't distinguish between right and wrong, then please, check yourself into the nearest sanitarium and have them give you some strong medicine to make the world go away.

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